How to be Naked in the City Without Being Noticed (Day 52)

Day 52   Some People just don’t Appreciate what they have in front of them

 

    Doug came home late last night.  A couple of his boys came in for a few minutes.  One of them, I assume he has a very furry uni brow that did little to cover his giant, Neanderthal’s forehead, said, “Doog, what your roommate like, she hot?”

    I suppose Doug thought I was asleep.  His reply was, “Yeah, kind of, all right rack, but a killer ass.”

    So I’m perturbed, and I’m perturbed for the reasons that I’m perturbed.  Yes, it would have been nice if he shut the conversation down, but I couldn’t expect chivalry without any known “trim” around to impress.  I actually give a damn what he thinks about me, and it really pisses me off.  I really would have expected his appraisal to be much more glowing and definitely more encompassing than just my T and A.  I realize/I hope that his inner most thoughts are deeper than what he tells his gang of morons, but it just would had been nice to be a little more defended.  And exactly what criteria was he using in his judgment of my assets, was he comparing me to the porn stars and strippers that are the only females his friends know?

    He has seen me braless, in just a T-shirt, headlights blazing from the air conditioning, many times.  Sure, they’re more peaches than grapefruits, but my twins are perky and happy fellows, and they get plenty of attention without even trying.  If he doesn’t like them so much, he shouldn’t be staring at them whenever he thinks he can get away with it; that friggin’ pig, he can probably list every bra I own from peaking every single time I bend over.

    Anyway, my tits are what the Good Lord done gave me, there’s not much I can do about them.  On the other hand, I work quite hard to have a nice butt, mainly because that little bit of annoying low self-esteem makes me think that it’s not so hot.  I’ve been a bit queasy when I’ve caught him checking it out, again thinking that it’s not quite good enough.  So, instead of being malevolent toward him for his near negative comments, I’m going to feel flattered and sexy because of his compliment.  Yes, I can be that self-deluded.

How to be Naked in the City Without Being Noticed (day 45)

Day 45  My Boy Toy

    I brought home my boy, Pete.  It was actually quite funny all around.  We had just come from dinner, but Doug was cooking chicken wings.  They started talking, and they both sat down on the couch to eat wings, drink beer, and watch a boxing match.

    I couldn’t really call Doug on the non-interference rule, as Pete instigated it.  But, after an hour of waiting, I simply said, “If anyone here is interested in fucking me, I’ll be in my room.”  I believe I scandalized poor Doug, by the look on his face, and I do regret embarrassing him, but I received a jolly good rogering all the same.  In the morning, I awoke to the sound of them laughing and cooking bacon.

How to be Naked in the City Without Being Noticed (day 40)

Day 40  The Slacker on the Couch

 

    I had been meaning to complain that he keeps falling asleep on the couch, how he’ll plop down there as soon as he gets home, or wake up on a Sunday and move to the couch for no reason to sleep for another hour.  Sometimes, I’ll cover him with a blanket, it’s just part of my naturally mothering concern.  He’s actually kind of cute, just sleeping there, totally defenseless, I could totally murder him and he couldn’t do anything to stop me.  But, he also takes up the entire couch, so I can’t sit there or watch TV, and I have to fibreeze the couch every day.

    The reason why I can’t complain any more is that I fell asleep on it last night.  Gone with the Wind was on TV, and I fell asleep right after that slut made a dress out of curtains.  The thing is, when I woke up, I had a blanket on me, and I just think that was really sweet of him.

How to be Naked in the City Without Being Noticed (day 38)

Day 38     Hey Now, My Platonic Guy-friend’s Back

 

    Doug’s home, he brought me sake.  His flight was delayed, and he ended up arriving through the door at 11:30pm last night.  I got dressed and we went out to the café on the corner.  It was just a quick bite and hot chocolate, but I was actually a little giddy with happiness that he was back.

    I don’t like that I have to qualify everything.  I’m happy he’s back, because he’s a good guy, and I like him.  I wouldn’t usually go out that late at night, and I would never go out by myself.  It felt good to know that he was sleeping next-door.  It was a much deeper sleep than I’ve had in a few weeks, because I felt safer.